i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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