You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
