My first STD was from a foam party
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't deserve a penis
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize