took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We need a shit load of segways right now
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
