I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
