i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
