I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize