There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
