Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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