I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
