what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize