You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
