I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
