yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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