Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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