so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
