Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
