Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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