OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
