Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
