I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i drank out of a bidet.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
