Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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