i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
