Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
