Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
