Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
