I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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