what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize