Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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