I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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