I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize