lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He did a backflip because drugs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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