I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
