you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize