put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Semen is not good for contacts.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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