fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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