so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
