Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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