"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize