we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
