I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
