She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
