Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
