shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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