if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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