I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
