do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So vagazzling was a success
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
