so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
