I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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