i permit you to call me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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