Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
