Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
