I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize