i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize