i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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