When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
