I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
