she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
