guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize