Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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