but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
