its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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