I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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