this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
