im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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