A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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