i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
