Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
