...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
