we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
