I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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