imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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