he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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