I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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