2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize