i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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