it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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