the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize