will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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