I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
