There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
